Your Next Big Thing...when the sound of the pitter-patter of little feet are no more.
God gave us these people, but they aren't ours.
He destined us to receive them with open arms but hold them close with open hands.
He shaped us to love to be needed and yet commissioned us to train them to need us less and less.
He wired our impulse to scoop them up when they fell and instilled the intuition to show them how to stand on their own.
He instilled a nesting instinct that would culminate in an empty nest.-Roots to Wings
So... I'm an empty nester. I live in a 4-bedroom house with my husband, a 10-year-old Maltese, and a 1-year-old miniature Aussie. No longer are my days filled with crazy pulsating mayhem as I desperately try to find the nonexistent extra 10 minutes that would allow me to pick up one kid from dance and get another on the track field on time and finish watching my all-star on the softball field.
I religiously swish the toilet bowl weekly in the "kids" bathroom and scrub the tub even though it won't be used. I am sad and a little lost.
Please don't think I don't have a fulfilling life, because I do. I'm an RN, a life coach, a yoga instructor, have an active social life, and am crazy about my husband of 35 years! We camp, bike ride, hike, kayak and have many beautiful times with family and friends. But I miss the crazy pulsating mayhem that filled my life. The feeling that I was needed 24/7. That the world might actually tilt on its axis if the favorite pair of jeans didn't make it into the wash! Yes, a bit dramatic…but not to a sixteen-year-old girl.
Where are you at sweet sis?
Are you too experiencing feelings of sadness?
Are you feeling lost?
You may be living in a state of Empty Nest Syndrome. Although this isn't a real diagnosis, for those dealing with our children leaving our homes and making a new life for themselves, this is very real.
A scenario of an empty nester:
It goes something like this.
You've just launched your chick out into the world!
They did it! (Fist pump in the air)
Hurray!....wait, what is happening?
they have a new and exciting life
and you've invested EVERYTHING into them!
Here's your reminder of what you just accomplished, Mama!
And what you've been doing the past 18+ years.
My size four pants!
Hello "baby fat" that never goes away because you survive on their leftover chicken nuggets and spare Mac and cheese because who has time to create that luscious nutrient-filled salad (pre-kids). Okay, the nuggets and cheese are organic!
Your body is not ruined. You are a tigress who has earned her stripes-author unknown
Age 2 – present-day.
With their Little feet, they step on your feet; With their Big feet, they step on your heart. -my dear friend Carol
Every bump and bruise they experience is a battering ram to our emotions.
My truth: As a mom, all I want them to be is happy every minute of their lives. Unfortunately, that's not realistic or healthy for them. So, we dance with them as they step on our feet and hold them as close as they will allow when they're hurting. We will enable them to grow. They need to make their own decisions and face the consequences of those decisions.
Dr. Henry Cloud stated a hard truth when he said, "We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change."
Age 5 years – adolescence
Truths to remember: